


Going Through The Motions

by orphan_account



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, F/M, Forgiveness, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Making Up, Past Relationship(s), Smoking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, reckless behaviour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 19:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16708936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Romeo doesn't want to be alive. Xara is indifferent to it and couldn't care less if she died or lived. Alone, they are unstable. Together... They could be better.





	Going Through The Motions

"You shouldn't smoke"

Xara glanced at him, grey eyes half lidded under the dimmed lighting of the lamp in the kitchen. The window was open and her smoke slowly drifted out of it in thin clouds of grey .

"Won't kill me, idiot. Admin leftovers, remember?" she raised a hand, and he sighed at the light green very slowly snaking up before she dropped her concentration and it faded. "Our internals are like damn titanium"

He shook his head. "We still aren't invincible. You shouldn't get that kind of mindset; you'll become reckless"

She frowned and snubbed her cigarette, throwing it out the window and slamming it shut. "I've been stabbed in the side and wasn't even that bothered by it. Stop caring."

He shook his at her. "Nice for you to decide when I'm allowed to care about people, since you seem pretty insistent on me not killing myself"

Her eyes sparked. "That's different, you-!"

He glared openly, and she tried not to flinch at how his eyes flashed crimson gold before dissolving back to normal white and blue. "It isn't different. At all. You don't get to decide when i can and can't care. If you are going to force me to live then you might as well do so as well to yourself"

She considered him for a moment, clearly agitated, before shaking her head. "You're very upset today. You even snapped at Jesse earlier. And i get that I'm being a little hypocritical, but there's no need to act like this, you overgrown child"

He shook his head and looked down. "I don't understand"

She glanced at him, curious. "Hm?"

He sighed. "Everything feels hopeless, Xara" he looked at her directly, expression scared in a subdued, worried sort of way. "Every day just feels like rinse repeat. I try and make up for what I've done. I do something or something happens that makes me feel terrible and i start wanting to die like a stupid teen. Then you or Jesse give me a lecture, i go to bed and... And it repeats.." he gazed at the ground. "I feel like I'm stagnating all of you by being here"

She bit her lip, not knowing what to say. "... None of us had a future when we were kids. We were just wandering around" she smiled bitterly. "But eventually we did find things, remember? We kept finding new homes, made a bunch of short term friends along the way, started building projects for fun.." she chuckled. "...You kissed me. It was great"

His eyes widened, cheeks turning scarlet. "...That's a positive memory..?"

She flushed slightly and bowed her head so he couldn't see her eyes. "Yes"

Silence for a moment.

"So.. Do you think i should find something new elsewhere?" he finally questioned nervously.

She smiled slightly. "Maybe. I'm not saying stop making up for the crap you did. But honestly if you keep just living your life for other people and not yourself you're gonna go insane"

He smiled softly, shyness seeming to cross his face. "Would you come with me?"

She bit her lip, hesitant. "...I would consider it. Maybe. Doubt it. Dunno. Go back to bed"

He chuckled, and it suddenly dissolved into sobs, shoulders shaking erratically, and she realized with a pang that he probably hadn't laughed properly in weeks. He was emotionally spent and living his life going through the motions, only not just jumping off the nearest roof because he didn't want to hurt other people. Not for himself.

...Heh. Well, she could relate somewhat. She wasn't nearly as suicidal as he was, but she was rather sure that if she had stayed in the sunshine institute forever she would have purposely triggered the TNT to just end her hell. If Romeo had been killed by Jesse she might have just ended up stabbing herself - she had only been living for revenge, after all.

But, well. Now there was Jesse. And Stella. And him.

So hey, might as well live. Even if she challenged her existence with reckless crap like smoking and getting into random fights for the fun of it.

"...I should actually go to bed. But-" he smiled. "It was really nice talking to you like this. No fighting or yelling or me hurting myself, just.. Talking. I missed this" he shrugged. "Night"

He stepped out.

She chuckled, and ignored her cheeks burning.

What a weirdo.


End file.
